I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I write award-winning operas and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I cook Thirty-Minute cookies in twenty minutes, am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I sleep once a week. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and have performed covert operations for the BBC. On weekends, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I am Crazy Stu.